It's not fair.
The full moon was last night.
There is no reason for me not to be able to sleep right now.
I was even a good girl and climbed into bed before 1am.
That never happens.
And here I am, over an hour later, having had to crawl down the ladder from my loft bed, because there's just no kidding anyone: I cannot sleep.
New moons and full moons tend to screw me up pretty badly, but for most of 2007, I've been so mentally, physically or emotionally exhausted, that I guess I've been able to sleep through crazy moon nights pretty well.
So why tonight, when the moon is only 98% full, am I sitting here typing instead of dreaming about bald eagles, swimming pools and the various B-list celebrities that regularly pop up in my unconcious wanderings?
But the moon last night was definately one for the record books. It may actualy have been the most beautiful moon I've ever seen. Around 10:45, when I was walking home from the bus, it was following me behind some evergreens, and it was glowing yellow- or at least a warm shade of papryus. Once i was at my cul de sac, I had a clear view. The sky was clear except a few linear wisps of cloud below the moon, which were lit up by reflection. It was one of those moons where you sort of expect it to start talking to you. You feel like it's just you and the moon. It's standing right there, you looking at it, it looking at you, and you kind of have to just say "Hey" because it would be rude to not to.
Well, last night I loved that moon.
Tonight, I'm very perturbed by it, if it is indeed the same moon. This moon says, "Hey, I know you're trying to sleep, but instead, why don't you lay awake, and be unavoidably aware of every twig snap on trees outside, every footfall of wild, wandering neighborhood cats, and every toss or turn of your roomates in the other rooms, and how about when you try to think of nice things as you try to fall asleep, you'll only be able to remember and rehash frustrating moments of your life that you can't seem to get away from. How about you do that instead of sleep? Sounds great, right?
Okay, I guess I'm done venting. Funny that I never really use this blog to vent, and the first time I do, it's to passive-aggressively insult the moon.
Extra: This blog entry from March feels very apropos right now. In more ways than one.
How the Light Gets In
6 days ago